TwIsTeD ToNgUeS or Speaking in Tongues?

Over the years I have been in Pentecostal and Evangelical churches that have had a humongous emphasis on speaking in tongues.  You'll hear them say, "Pray in the spirit" or "The spirit intercedes when you don't know what to pray for?" using  Romans 8:26 as reference:

Likewise, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. For we do not know what to pray for as we ought, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words.  

They have told me that I should desire to speak in tongues and offer to pray for me.  However, what I read in scriptures is that our desire should be to prophesy not speak in tongues.

Pursue love, and earnestly desire the spiritual gifts, especially that you may prophesy. 1 Corinthians 14:1

What is speaking in tongues?

It is speaking in any of the world's 6500 languages without being taught.  Some have said that when the high priest went into the Most Holy Place to atone for the sins of the people there was a special language between him and God so that the devil wouldn't understand. Often when it is a gift there is another person present with a gift of interpretation that can understand what is being said.  I have heard testimonies of someone being lost in foreign countries unable to speak the language but momentarily speaking in the language getting them back to safety.  I heard another testimony of an unbeliever overhearing someone speaking in his rare native tongue with a message from the Lord, and coming to the knowledge of the Lord through that experience.

There is a group of Christians, particularly but not limited to Pentecostals, with the belief that speaking in tongues is essential to salvation.  The basis being Acts 2:1-4.

When the day of Pentecost came, they were all together in one place.  Suddenly a sound like the blowing of a violent wind came from heaven and filled the whole house where they were sitting.  They saw what seemed to be tongues of fire that separated and came to rest on each of them.  All of them were filled with the Holy Spirit and began to speak in other tongues as the Spirit enabled them.

Many believers start arguing that speaking in tongues is a gift that is not imparted to all of us, but those who believe speaking in the spirit is essential for salvation are not referring to the gift.  They are referring to a different type of tongue.  The different kinds of tongues spoken of in the bible is the gift of tongues, singing in tongues of angels (1 Corinthians 13), and tongues for prayer (1 Corinthians 14:2). 

How Pentecostalism started

Let me give you the historical background of how praying in tongues began as Pastor John MacArthur explains in his book Strange Fire:

It was the dawn of the 20th century, in the early morning hours of New Year's Day 1901. A group of Bible school students had come together hours earlier for a New Year's Eve prayer service.  But even though it was long past midnight, they were still there--earnestly seeking to experience the presence and power of the Holy Spirit.  All of them desperately hoped for something amazing.  Over the previous weeks, the students had been intently studying portions of the book of Acts.  They were particularly interested in what the apostolic record taught about the baptism of the Holy Spirit-an experience that, in keeping with their Wesleyan Holiness background, they believed took place subsequent to conversion.  Their study eventually centered on the miraculous phenomenon of speaking in tongues, which the students concluded was the true sign of Spirit baptism.  They observed how the apostles had spoken in tongues on the day of Pentecost, as well as Cornelius in Acts 10 and John the Baptist's former disciples in Acts 19.  And they wondered: if tongues-speaking was a sign of the Spirit's presence in apostolic times, maybe the same was still true at the outset of the twentieth century.  By the time they gathered for a prayer service on NYE they had all arrived at the same two conclusions--namely, speaking in tongues was the sign of the Spirit baptism, and the gift of tongues was still available to them to experience.  So with heartfelt determination, they pleaded with God to be baptized by His Spirit.  Their teacher, a Methodist Holiness minister named Charles Fox Parham, had encouraged them along these lines.  And now they were eager to experience the Spirit's power firsthand.   Sometime in those early morning hours, something extraordinary happened.  One of the students, a young woman named Agnes Ozman, asked her teacher to lay hands on her and pray that she would receive the Holy Spirit.  She began speaking in the Chinese language and was unable to speak English for 3 days.  When she tried to write in English to tell of her experiences she wrote in Chinese.  After that, at revival meetings, more than 20 different languages were reported being spoken by fellow students and this is the beginning of the Pentecostal movement.

What Is A Response to the Holy Spirit

When we look at scriptures, speaking in tongues is not the only response to the Holy Spirit.

1 Corinthians 12:4-11: 

There are different kinds of gifts, but the same Spirit distributes them. There are different kinds of service, but the same Lord.   There are different kinds of working, but in all of them and in everyone it is the same God at work.  Now to each one the manifestation of the Spirit is given for the common good.  To one there is given through the Spirit a message of wisdom, to another a message of knowledge by means of the same Spirit, to another faith by the same Spirit, to another gifts of healing by that one Spirit, to another miraculous powers, to another prophecy,to another distinguishing between spirits, to another speaking in different kinds of tongues, and to still another the interpretation of tongues.  All these are the work of one and the same Spirit, and he distributes them to each one, just as he determines.

These Pentecostals argue that if you don't immediately speak tongues upon salvation it is because it is a progressive experience between repentance, baptism, and finalized by the indwelling of the Holy Spirit as evidenced by tongues.  It is an inference made by a small minority.  When there is too much meaning to a particular scripture it is called hyper literalism.  Reading into something that is not there.   You can search the scriptures, but you won't find one verse that says, "One must speak in tongues to be saved" or "Tongues is essential to salvation."  The only requirement is found in the core verse of the bible John 3:16, "For God so loved the World He gave His One and Only Son, that he who believes will not perish but have eternal life."  It doesn't say, "For God so loved the world He gave His One and Only Son, that he who believes, then speaks in tongues, then gets baptized will not perish but have eternal life!"  Revelations 22 does, however, say that anyone who adds to the Word will receive plagues and he who takes away will not receive the tree of life.

A study on speaking in tongues.

There have been tape recordings done on the technical term for speaking in tongues, glossolalia.  They always turn out to be strings of syllables, made up of sounds taken from among all those that the speaker knows, put together more haphazardly but which nevertheless emerge as word-like rhythm and melody.  It is indeed like a language in some ways, but linguists have found they are not a language. (Tongues of Men and Angels, William Samarin).

Charismatics have argued that it is a gift of receiving your own spirit language.  Each is unique to the person.  As one pastor instructs, "When you ask for the Holy Spirit, you may have a syllable bubbling up, or rolling around in your head.  If you will speak it in faith, it will be as if you open a dam, and the language will come forth. (Drawing Near, John Bevere)

Speaking in tongues as a demonic spirit

On the flip side again, the devil is able to mimic and counterfeit things of the spirit. Hinduism for years has had the practice with the Kundalini spirit-a releasing of a cosmic energy, that happens when a serpent untwists itself in you. In the occult, kundalini has been a common practice for over 1,000 years, but in Asian religions, its history has goes back to 4,000 year. They have the concept that this phenomenon is to release “the power of the serpent” that resides in every person. The physical experience is exactly the same in tongues and kundalini. When the power of the serpent comes out, frequently the person makes involuntary sounds and their bodies begin to make movements out of their control (as is slain in the spirit). (The Stormy Search for Self, Cristiana y Stanislov Grof)

In Conclusion

I don't disagree that speaking in tongues exist.  There are some serious praying, God-fearing, bible beating Christians that can not speak in tongues.  Then there are proclaimed Christians that are living in sin, not bearing fruits, that claim to speak in tongues.  Personally most of the time when I hear people speaking tongues around me it sounds like a lot of baa ba ba baa ba and rolling of the 'r's.  It all sounds the same.  I speak 3 languages and am around many more.  There is a distinct difference between hearing languages and someone speaking in tongues.  I do believe there are many Christians that truly believe they are speaking in tongues that are not. The only person that knows is the omniscient Lord.  He is the only one who knows who is speaking in tongues.  He is the one that will make the judgment call as to whether it is necessary for salvation.  I do believe that our salvation is being worked out until the day we go home.  Speaking in tongues alone is no guarantee of salvation just as a person who doesn't speak in tongues.  The one true indicator is those who have repented and are bearing fruit as a result of their transformation.

Should Christians celebrate Halloween or is it Hell-o-Ween?

Halloween has been my favorite holiday. I love dressing up and doing elaborate makeup. I have won many costume contests due to my creativity. I rationalized in my mind that if it isn't a witch, ghost, devil, or anything evil then it must be ok........well I did dress up as the Dark Knight joker nurse once.  Beggar's Night

is the perfect opportunity for witnessing, right? Besides kids dress up year-round as princesses and superheroes for play. People in dramas wear costumes. How could Halloween be any different? 

According to a CBN News Facebook Poll, 87% of believers feel that Christians should not celebrate Halloween, while 13% believe it's okay. But in the US those statistics are almost swapped.  23% of believers don't celebrate Halloween leaving only 72% that do. ONe-quarter of all candy sold in the US if for Halloween. Is there something Americans don't know? 

Let me start by explaining the reason for the costumes, pumpkins, and bonfires. Then explain what is going on in the spiritual realms yet today.

In ancient times there was an ancient festival that translated Satan called Sal'win. There was the belief that the transition between the DEATH of summer and the BIRTH of winter was the harvest season in which ravenous spirits came out. They practiced sorcery, witchcraft, and all kinds of manner of evil. During the reign of Pope Gregory III he changed it from the ancient festival to the modern-day, Halloween. The Catholic church has had a history of coming in and taking over the traditions of occultic practices and mixing it with Christianity to make it something more acceptable. What fellowship does darkness have with light? Back around the time of Pope Gregory IX the Vatican began teaching that the Holy Mass is literal eating and drinking of flesh and blood of Christ. The priests had the power to turn the bread and wine into the body and blood of Christ, which is a magic occult black magic act.

The Celtics believed these spirits were roaming the earth looking for someone to torment. To appease Satan they wanted the attention of the spirits for their sorcery and magic. They made animal and human sacrifices. They would take the bones and have a bone fire, which we now call bonfire, as a sacrifice to Satan asking for prosperity and his blessing in the year to come. One of the things they did to hide from the spirits was to dress up in costumes to blend in with the demons or animals. They believed when these spirits were roaming the earth they were ravenously hungry. Inorder to not get eaten they laid out in front of their houses treats for them to feast on. They believed if they didn't leave a proper offering they would play tricks to torment them. That is where we get "Trick or Treat." One of the things they'd do was chop the heads off of people and take the bloody head, decorate them and place them around their houses. They weren't pumpkins back then they were human heads. Carving pumpkins making a face out of them is how we got jack o' lanterns.

At this point you might be saying but I am not celebrating or practicing what the ancient druids did. You might be calling it a genetic fallacy, which is history and origins irrelevant to today's current meaning and practices.

Before jumping to any conclusions let's look at the spiritual realm of this today. The invisible spiritual realm is still very much active today. There are powers, principalities and spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms that are warring against us. As Christians, we are called to put on the full armor of God. (Ephesians 6:11-12)

Many believers believe that they can not have demons or demonic oppression. This is a spiritual ignorance that I once fell prey too. I have a family member who is a witch and told me with permission he could cast a spell on me for good luck. I said, "You can cast a spell on me, but it won't work because I am a child of the Most High." This couldn't be further from the truth. 

"Demons" are mentioned 69 times in the New Testament. Jesus continuously did 3 things: 1)preached 2) healed and 3)cast of demons. (Matthew 8:16; Matthew 9:4, 33; Matthew 10:8; Matthew 12:24, 27-28; Mark 1:34, 39; Mark 3:22; Mark 7:26; Mark 16:9,17; Luke 11:15, 18-20; Luke 13:32) To prove that demons still exist all we have to do is look to the future on Judgment Day: On that day many will say to me, ‘Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in your name, and cast out demons in your name, and do many mighty works in your name?’ (Matthew 7:22) It's a matter of whether you think these people saying, "Lord, Lord" are those of biblical times or represent men across all ages.

It's true that believers can't be possessed, because no demons can reside where the Holy Spirit resides.  Let me explain how it is possible to be oppressed by using Don Dickerman's analogy in When Pigs Move In: 

Evil spirits can get in the temple just like evil thoughts and sinful actions--by choices we make and gates we open. Do you recall the Old Testament Tabernacle? It had three parts: an outer courtyard, the holy place, and the holy of holies. The holy place was twice as large as the holy of holies. The tabernacle is a picture of our being. The courtyard represents our flesh, the holy place represents our soul, and the holy of holies represents our spirits. The holy of holies is where the Spirit of God dwells. This is important in understanding how the temple is defiled. Where does the Spirit of God dwell in the believer? In our spirit! Not in our soul and flesh; that is the part of us that we can yield to God or to disobedience. Our soul is made up of our mind, will, and emotions. Our flesh is that which can be seen, touched, and felt. It has substance. The spirit has no substance; it is intangible. It is our spirit that is born again, and it is in our spirit that the Holy Spirit of God takes up residence. The spirit has been born again, and the soul and flesh are "being saved" as we yield ourselves and conform to the image of Christ.  It is the soul and the flesh that can be inhabited by demon powers. It is the soul where the spiritual battle takes place, and often it manifests in the flesh.

In Old Testament times there was a curtain between the Holy Place and the Most Holy Place. The only person allowed behind that curtain was the high priest in which they tied a rope on in case he died while they went back there. That high priest went in to atone for the sins and give animal sacrifices for the people who didn't have direct access to the Most High; however when Christ died on the cross that curtain tore giving us direct access. This is why the Catholic church still uses the practice of confession. (Hebrews 9:2-8)

Over the past year, I have seen former Satanist John Ramirez go viral on the internet. He was ranked as a high priest Satanists in NYC. He says,

"Halloween is the devil's holiday. The devil loves when you celebrate Halloween because you are intertwining darkness with light." Take no part in the unfruitful works of darkness, but instead expose them. (Ephesians 5:11) He goes on to say, "All of that candy and costumes in the stores have had prayers of evil prayed over them. By celebrating Halloween if you are married then you are letting evil into your marriage, children, home, finances over practicing this holiday one day of the year. People are putting pumpkins at their doors which opens their door to the same demons that run the river which is called Oshun, a spirit of witchcraft. Celebrating it brings a curse to your family 4 to 5 generations down. We have churches that have trunk or treats and Harvest festivals. It's no substitute for Halloween. You are bringing a curse to your church when you do that. You are bringing the curse on the children in your church. One of the biggest demonic disillusion that the devil brings is to change costume, put on an outfit, paint your face, change your identity. I don't care if you put on a mermaid, Casper the friendly ghost, or an angel. Jesus created Adam and Eve to be perfect and when the devil got in the garden, convinced them and confused their mind then he changed their identity. When you put on a costume you are changing your identity in who you are in Christ, and open yourself to the most demonic attack ever. If you are celebrating Harvest then you are celebrating Halloween. The church becomes entertainment and an amusement park so that the world will come back. You don't need to entertain anyone. You bring them and Jesus Christ will do the rest. How you going to celebrate and call yourself blessed. It's like being married and sleeping with a prostitute but say you love your wife. The biggest witchcraft I used to do was on Halloween to kill, steal, and destroy."

I have heard John tell multiple stories of his time as a Satanist. Ramirez's book, Armed and Dangerous, he talks about how the number 21 means "snake." He used to cast 21-day prayers over people, and 21 days later they would be dead. His Satanic power was so powerful that he had his landlord afraid to come to his door. For 9 months, he received free rent before moving out. For Halloween, he said he started devising evil plans a week out. The holiday proves to be demon-possessed as evidenced by the 17% increase in crime.

The spirit you are opening your door is a witchcraft spirit. The spirit of witchcraft includes sorcery, divination, intimidation, control, manipulation, false religions, fortune-telling, new age, ESP, astrology, hypnosis, Eastern religions, masonry, telepathy, palmistry, drugs, black magic, white magic, tea leaf reading, etc. If the enemy can get control of your mind then they can cause confusion, mental breakdown, mania, fantasy, evil thinking, migraines, mental pain, and negative thinking. (Fasting for Breakthrough and Deliverance, John Eckhardt)

Once that spirit gets into your home it can affect your finances, marriage, and safety of your children. You are opening the door to your child being molested, trafficked, abused, bullied, and raped in the future. Hosea 4:6 says, "My people are destroyed for lack of knowledge; because you have rejected knowledge, I reject you from being a priest to me. And since you have forgotten the law of your God, I also will forget your children." There are strong soul ties with this demon that requires prayer, fasting, and strong spiritual warfare. (Matthew 17:21) I can't emphasize enough how much power comes from not telling or hinting to a single soul that you are fasting. In biblical times they kept it so anonymous that they carried on as if they were eating by washing their faces and putting anointing oil on their heads. This was a practice done before eating a meal. (Matthew 6:17-18)

Through this witchcraft spirit, I myself had been exposed to a stalker for 7 years of my life. Legal action was involved but it didn't work. It was a scary situation.  One day the Lord made me question a verse in Matthew 12, which opened a humongous door to learning about spiritual warfare.   After 5 months of prayer and fasting, the stalking finally stopped. This stuff is real folks.

It is knowledge that empowers us and lack of it causes us to fail and perish. This may be the first time you have been opened up to this. Over the years I have had many many foreign friends who didn't celebrate Halloween. In fact, I once did a study of the origins of Halloween but was not convinced until I dug deeper than I had previously dug. I now know at least 5 people who have stopped celebrating Halloween in the past year.  I've had 3 or 4 unrelated friends send me YouTube links to John Ramirez. If you are still sitting on the fence look him up. His testimonies are so compelling.

John Ramirez Testimony

https://youtu.be/I11L71PD3Lw

Being a light by living in darkness! How?!?!

When I lived in Iowa we hung out at coffee shops and Village Inn until 3am.  Then I moved to Chicago.  The first week I was there I went to a birthday party at a hair salon.  Afterwards everyone was going out so I followed the herd.  When we got to the hangout I was uncomfortably shocked.  It was a bar.  After that I would get emails for my small group saying they were going out dancing on the weekend.  Up to this point I thought going to the bars and clubs was a black and white issue.  I had no idea that it was in the grey for anyone.  I could start my objections to this lifestyle right now, but I'm going to counteract the objections I saw on another's blog.  If I can be super blunt I think this is the lifestyle of those who love it so much that they are willing to find any justification to engage.

Objection#1
Unbelievers may judge us for being associated with that worldly atmosphere and the type of people we are with. I have seen that it is mainly the Christians who judge each other for being in worldly places. Unbelievers on the other hand think that Christians cannot have fun. I aim to change that mindset. Also, the religious leaders criticized Jesus for socializing with sinners, but this didn’t stop him. How do we save unbelievers if we do not hang out with them? Many christians think we will be tempted to conform to the sinful behavior of the clubers but most Christians I know who club do not sin there.

Rebuttal #1
Lets begin with "Unbelievers will judge us!"  

• Ephesians 5:3 But among you there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality, or of any kind of impurity, or of greed, because these are improper for God's holy people.
• Romans 13:13-14 We should live in a right way, like people who belong to the day. We should not have wild parties or be drunk. We should not be involved in sexual sin or any kind of immoral behavior. 
• Romans 2:24 For, as it is written, “The name of God is blasphemed among the Gentiles because of you.”

"Believers are more judgmental than non believers."  
There is something known as righteous judgment in the bible.  Don't get this type of judgment confused for the judgment that condemns people to hell.

• 1 Corinthians 5:9-13  I wrote to you in my letter not to associate with sexually immoral people not at all meaning the sexually immoral of this world, or the greedy and swindlers, or idolaters, since then you would need to go out of the world. But now I am writing to you not to associate with anyone who bears the name of brother if he is guilty of sexual immorality or greed, or is an idolater, reviler, drunkard, or swindler—not even to eat with such a one. For what have I to do with judging outsiders?Is it not those inside the church whom you are to judge? God judges those outside. “Purge the evil person from among you.” 
• 1 Peter 4:2-5 Strengthen yourselves so that you will live here on earth doing what God wants, not the evil things people want. In the past you wasted too much time doing what nonbelievers enjoy. You were guilty of sexual sins, evil desires, drunkenness, wild and drunken parties, and hateful idol worship. Nonbelievers think it is strange that you do not do the many wild and wasteful things they do, so they insult you. But they will have to explain this to God, who is ready to judge the living and the dead.

Next the author of this states that her aim is to change the mindset that believers can't have fun.  

When you are filled with the Holy Spirit going to the bars or clubs is no longer fun.  People seem to think that the only way to have fun is to go to bars or clubs.  Have you forgotten about the arcades, movie theater, bowling alley, museums, beaches, restaurants, fishing, boating, hiking, reading a book, etc.  Clubbing every week gets lame, redundant, and boring.  The bars and clubs are for those who are bored and haven't established goals.  As I write this I have just made my debut appearance in my first fitness magazine.  There were many activities that got me to this place.  Attending fitness expos, going to the gym, networking, learning how to cook, reading up on fitness and nutrition.  I have no time for clubbing.  My days are so abundant working hard towards goals that when 10pm comes around I am ready for bed.

"Jesus socialized with sinners!"
Yes he did.  Sinners are everywhere.....at church, the workplace, gym, etc.  It is possible to socialize with them so many places without going into the dark places.

• For the time that is past suffices for doing what the Gentiles want to do, living in sensuality, passions, drunkenness, orgies, drinking parties, and lawless idolatry. With respect to this they are surprised when you do not join them in the same flood of debauchery, and they heap abuse on you; but they will give account to him who is ready to judge the living and the dead. 1 Peter 4:3-5

Objection#2
The music is secular with swear words and worldly ideas. But secular music is played in shops etc. too. We cannot avoid it. I don’t agree with Christians who say we should not listen to any secular music. I say that is narrow minded and legalistic.

Rebuttal #2

• Phillipians 4:8  Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable--if anything is excellent or praiseworthy--think about such things.

We are always going to come into contact with secular music in this world.  That is where the Holy Spirit steps in and can protect us.  However as a nurse I know that I can come into contact with one person with the flu and not contract it myself.  But if my immune system is constantly bombarded with patient after patient with the flu then I am going to catch it.  What goes in comes out.  Music is a form of meditation.  It's not what you hear on the conscious level but what gets into the subconscious.  By going to places that support such music artists makes you a supporter.  Without your business there would be no need for them.  It's naive to think you can handle this kind of music and not be effected.

Objection#3
There is a risk of demonic infiltration in clubs because of the music controlling your mind etc. However, I say that when you have the Holy Spirit in you, you can discern demonic presence and you can also control your mind.

Rebuttal #3

It's not a risk.  It's a reality!  There are demons.  If you are a believer demons will pursue you harder then everyone else in the club.  When Satan fell, he took 1/3 of the angels in heaven which are now known as demons.  Discernment of demons?  Demons don't need to be discerned. They will control your mind.  It is called oppression.

• 1 Corinthians 5:13 Bad company corrupts good morals.  

Objection #4
Clubbing does not bring glory to God. But a lot of our jobs are not in a field which brings God glory. I say we can give God glory by simply standing out from the rest and being a shining light in the darkness. I try to lead by example, without bible bashing people.

Rebuttal #4
How are you going to stand out in a club?  After I got saved I drank soda.  People thought I was drinking alcohol.  If you drink water they are going to think it is liquor.  How are you going to dance on the dance floor without shaking your hips around waving your booty around like you just don't care?   Who goes into a club and says there is something different about that person?  You have a drink in your hand drinking in moderation, but they think you are like them and getting drunk too.   If you want to stand out then STAND OUTside of the club and talk to people as they come out or go in, but don't step foot into that dark place.  If you aren't bringing Jesus up to people then you aren't evangelizing.  It just makes you another one of them.

"Bible bashing"?
Through hearing the Word of God change happens.

Romans 10:17 Consequently, faith comes from hearing the message, and the message is heard through the word about Christ.

Possible archeological evidence for the 10 plagues of Egypt.

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/science/science-news/7530678/Biblical-plagues-really-happened-say-scientists.html

Breaking a Woman's Angry Spirit

I'm amazed at how well some men get women and others have no clue at all.  There seems to never be anything in between.  I myself rarely get upset, but when I do get upset I don't usually stay mad that long.  There's no fun in staying mad, and it takes too much energy.  But if men just followed biblical principles such as,

Ephesians 5:33 "Husband love your wives.  Wives respect your husbands" or 


Proverbs 15:1 "A kind answer soothes angry feelings, but harsh words stir them up." 

then they'd see how easy it is to break that spirit of anger.  When a woman criticizes or is angry, it's really her response to hurt and need for love.  It reminds me of this stranger walking behind me yesterday on the pier talking to his girl on the phone.  She was apparently very angry on the other end, and his tone of voice was angry, rapid, and definately not soothing.  I had to laugh when he shouted back on the phone to her, "I MISS YOU TOO!"  I was convinced.  Or not.  lol!
There have been a few men that know the secret code with me.  It actually kind of irks me off.  They know exactly what to do so I can't be mad anymore. Sometimes I feel like I haven't been mad long enough to prove my point, so I'll cantankerously be mad.  Then the next time I get mad at them I always think I'm NOT letting them off the hook that easily this time, but I always do.  Like I said it irks me off!  How do they do it?

Let me tell you about Nhoj.  Nhoj was my best friend during a season of my life, because he was truly the person in my life at the time that understood me like no other.  I trusted him beyond trust.  Still do.  One of the reasons I trusted him was because he was sooo predictable, and I could even predict how he was going to respond to me if I got mad at him.  I got mad at him for 9 days once. I had told him something in confidence and heard it back through our mutual friend at the time.  He was working the front door, so one night I yelled at him from the balcony my lack of appreciation and got on the elevator.  He could've yelled back at me insults and disgust, but he sat quietly.  When I'd go through the lobby which I tried to avoid he'd remain quiet.  Then one day I couldn't avoid him.  I had a package and I had to go through him, as he helped me he said, "I've been praying and I just wanted to say I'm sorry!"  How could I be mad?  I believed him when he said it.  It made me feel guilty that I had been mad, but I didn't say anything.  A couple days later I had been hurt physically (btw not raped incase you were thinking that) by our mutual friend and I didn't know of one other person on the planet I could share it with.  I tried to act like I had everything together, but as soon as I saw him I broke down crying.  It was essential to have one person on this planet that I trusted that much to share that experience with otherwise I would have been all alone.  To this day no one else knows the details of that ordeal.  Knowing how to handle me in time of conflict had much to do with my ability to have such a trusting relationship.

My other friend Cephas I had become extremely upset with once.  So entirely frustrated.  Once again he didn't react to my reactivity.  He wasn't harsh, but was always a gentle spirit.  One day I called him up on the phone and said, "I'm sorry.  I still love you."  He never held it against me.  He was very silent about it, and wasn't mad that I was mad.  As soon as I called him on the phone infact he acted surprised, and after my apology we talked like we always did.  Once again it made me feel bad that I was even mad to begin with.  To this day is one of my lifelong friends.  When you can trust someone to accept you through thick and thin then you know you have a true friend.  Some friends you can bicker with, some you can't.
Last weekend once again I showed my disgust towards someone's actions towards me.  They apologized, but I wasn't done with putting them through hoops.  Before I could even put him through hoops he did that kind word thing AGAIN, "So how was your day?"  Really can these guys stop breaking my angry spirit with kind words?  lol

At the end of the day this ties into a woman's need of security and loyalty.  If a man is unable to accept you through thick and thin or make you feel like he's given you ANOTHER chance, or that you are on your last straw then that trust will probably never be there.  My last "official" boyfriend became angry with me, because he thought I was angry with him I think (but I wasn't).  He didn't want to talk to me anymore (perhaps because he didn't know how to solve the problem).  If we talked it was superficial conversation.  When I saw him and was trying to be touchy, he was like "Look at you!"  As women we desire to be loved in conflict and quickly resume the closeness we once had.  That level of closeness is equivalent to the level of previous closeness.  So if it was a friendship then maybe it's words.  If it's a relationship then maybe it's a hug or cuddling.  If it's marriage then maybe it's making love.  It should be restored to the completion of the highest level of intimacy that relationship had before the conflict.  Forgiveness doesn't impose boundaries after the conflict.

The 5 Language of Apology

One of the best books I have read lately is called, The Five Languages of Apology by the same author who wrote The Five Love Languages.  It put together my thoughts in a way I could never explain to anybody.  I always have thought that people so casually say, "I forgive you," but their actions never seem to reflect that.  I mean if you have truly forgiven shouldn't you be able to carry on with that person as if nothing ever happened.  Seems like people only repair those relationships when it requires them, such as working in the office together, being in the same circle of friends, going to the same church, but what if you never have to see that person again?  It's real easy to walk away isn't it?  I have always thought of it this way.......

I have 2 sisters.  We fought like cats and dogs growing up.  We'd have our fights then 5 minutes later it would be as if the fight never happened.  No grudges held.  It was a natural part of my life when I lived at home.  I remember some things they had said or done, but they don't stick in my mind as if they should be something I should reflect, ponder, and hold onto.  I could care less what they have done to me.  But in today's society, people seem to have such low self-esteem that they can't get it out of their minds as if another person has the correct analysis of who you are and you believe them.  They can only hurt you if you believe there was some truth to what they said and that's another story.  What if it were your mom, dad, sister, brother, grandma, grandpa, aunt, or uncle?  I know there are some families today that are divided, people don't speak to their parents ever again, but most of the time this isn't the case.  Do we need to have blood to link us together, because technically we all come from Adam and Eve.  We aren't considered related after 4th cousins, it doesn't count anymore, but I hear the furthest we go up to in the world is 42nd cousins.  I still think we are all closely related.  We don't go to church and call ourselves "brothers and sisters" for nothing.  Why don't we act like it?  Why do we make excuses as to why they can't be in our lives anymore?  Is it really that big?   I have no problem being mad at someone, being like "I don't like your coat now where do you want to go for lunch?"  My ability to forgive so quickly has perhaps got me into a lot of trouble, but it's an expenditure of energy that I don't have.  I rarely drop people from my life.  They have to have done something to me that is super harmful to my wellbeing and spirit.  To walk circles around people, be in a room with them where its all awkward, having anger or animosity raging inside is pathetic.  I'm glad Gary Chapman has presented it in such a way that I believe Jesus would agree with me:

Please try to do the reading in my photo on Can you forgive without an apology?  Enlarge the picture if you have to because it is really good.

In these times we are living divorce is on the rise especially in the United States.  I can't speak for other girls, because I've never been in a romantic relationship with a girl, but I can speak what I see in the men.  I see lack of leadership!  Men so often end relationships without saying what has upset them.  They don't come to you and say, "You really hurt me when you said....."  That's leadership when a Christian man can come to a woman and express his feelings and try to figure out what the breakdown of communication was.  Instead men can get very prideful, pompous, snippy snappy, arrogant, with a chip on their shoulder and not express what their issues are leaving us women to guess.  When we can't figure it out it brews and brews inside of them and they quit.  I think Woodrow Wilson said it best,

 "The way we generally strive for rights is by getting our fighting blood up; and I venture to say that is the long way and not the short way. If you come at me with your fists doubled, I think I can promise you that mine will double as fast as yours; but if you come to me and say, “Let us sit down and take counsel together, and, if we differ from one another, understand why it is that we differ from one another, just what the points at issue are,” we will presently find that we are not so far apart after all, that the points on which we differ are few and the points on which we agree are many, and that if we only have the patience and the candor and the desire to get together, we will get together."

I honestly don't believe most people seek to hurt others.  I think when someone is hurt by anothers words or actions, it was either misperceived or the other person had other thoughts in mind.  Perhaps it was a person's own personal opinion that has nothing to do with you.  We are all entitled to have our own beliefs.  The only time I think we seek to hurt others is when they have hurt us and we are firing back or if we just can't forgive them for something they did to us in the past.  Everything else is bridge under the water.  We need to seek communication, and find our common areas of agreeance.  I recently was joking and laughing with a person, everything was okay.  I wasn't mad at them, nor seeking to hurt their feelings in any way but they were gone without a trace.

That leads me to another point.......if you are going to be going around preaching Jesus, love, and no judgment then don't be a hipocrite about it.  How many Christians have I seen on Facebook putting up all of their Jesus pictures, bible quotes, etc but then they end that friendship by deleting the person as a buddy.  Matthew 18 says that if you have an issue with a brother (or sister) than go to them.  Don't delete them on Facebook.  Don't text message them.  Don't have someone else tell them that you are mad at them.  Don't avoid them.  Go to them in a relational way face to face and if you can't do that then at the very least the phone or Skype.  7% of communication is words.  You can't possibly be certain of what a person means by Facebook, Twitter, or text messaging.  We aren't even allowed to the altar while there is tension with another, so solve things and solve them quickly.  I have approached friends and its especially important with non believers.  She called me one day and asked if I wanted to go to lunch.  I didn't accuse her of anything.  I said so and so told me that you said XYZ about me, is that true?  She said, "No and I'm going to have to have a talk with that person!"  I had got stuck in the crossfire between 2 others.  I could have had an ended friendship over a rumor had I not handled it maturely and wisely.

We all have conflict in our lives it's part of growing in character.  I highly highly recommend reading this book.

The Haitian Excursion Rolls On

2 weeks ago I received a definate answer that I for sure would be going to Haiti.  I'll be leaving on September 25th and am waiting to hear back from the organization on the length of my trip.  One of my prayers have been answered.  I have a place to keep my car in Dallas.  Being able to keep it in Dallas enables me to take the insurance off it as it won't be in a hurricane zone.  I have also found a website inwhich I can purchase a plane ticket for $415.  Most of the tickets I have been seeing have been around $630.  The catch is that there is a huge 9 hour overlay, but that's okay with me.  I'm more than happy to spend some extra time in a city that I have never been to before.  Here are my prayer requests for this trip now:

*That I will find a job for when I return back to the U.S. beforehand or find a solution to having a phone while overseas.

*That I will learn my french rapidly and be as fluent as possible before going.  I had 4 years of french in high school; however, I want to know french so well that it's evident that God did a good work in me to learn it so fast.

*That I will find ways to help out the Haitians out beyond my service of nursing.  My time is not an inconvenience.  There are so many needs beyond my time.

*That there will be great healing to every Haitian I touch.  I already believe that I may have the gift of healing as evidenced by my time in Chicago.  The story goes that I'd begin my every day with 3 patients.  The assignment was always made out so that we'd only have one patient going home for the day.  Almost everyday I'd have 2-3 of my patients go home.  All the nurses would always ask me how I got so lucky.  I'd joke that I was " the healing nurse," but overtime I began to believe that maybe it was a gift the Lord had given to me.

These are all that I can think of currently.  I'm sure there will be more later.