Avoidance kills an inner sense of confidence and esteem. They become experts at impression management--pretending to be what they think will be acceptable by others.
You play the quiet game when you pretend something does not bother you when it really does; or when you pretend to agree with someone when you really don't; or when you act as if you don't care, but you really do. I know of couples who have played the quiet game with each other for years. They play it to avoid arguments--but they also avoid intimacy. I wonder whom you might be playing the quiet game with: a boss? a spouse? an assertive relative? a strong-willed child? an opinionated coworker? an intimidating authority figure? Fear always lies behind the quiet game.
You play the quiet game when you pretend something does not bother you when it really does; or when you pretend to agree with someone when you really don't; or when you act as if you don't care, but you really do. I know of couples who have played the quiet game with each other for years. They play it to avoid arguments--but they also avoid intimacy. I wonder whom you might be playing the quiet game with: a boss? a spouse? an assertive relative? a strong-willed child? an opinionated coworker? an intimidating authority figure? Fear always lies behind the quiet game.
